Corruption - Do it right!

If you've been keeping up to date on Indian affairs, you'll have seen the whole hullaballoo about corruption - the newspeople can't seem to get enough of it. First there was Anna Hazare, doing his Gandhi 2 thing. Now there's this Baba Ramdev character, sort of like Rasputin without the sexiness. He claims to be able to cure AIDS by breathing exercises or something of the sort. Surely, getting rid of corruption is child's play, then? Anyway, I'd love to see the government call their bluff - if you starve to death, we'll pass the anti-corruption bill. How's that for a bit of reverse blackmail?

What is corruption, though? At it's simplest, it's taking money to get something done. So how's that different from paying a plumber to unblock a drain? Because it's not stated up front. So maybe it should be stated up front. Think about it. Walk into a government office, and you'd see a tarriff of charges, for "special services", or "expedited delivery", to be paid "directly to functionary".

After all, that's how some governments deal with practices they don't like, but can't stamp out either - by legalising them. Like prostitution, in some countries. Can't beat 'em, so join 'em. And tax them, into the bargain. That way, everybody's happy. Of course, taking a cut from a prostitute's pay makes the government a pimp (or is it a madam?), but they've been called worse...

So let's legalise it. Everybody does it, might as well make it open, above board, and most importantly, taxable (let's avoid the issue of corrupt tax collectors for now...). Just imagine how much faster everything would move once everybody knows they need to pay a bribe to "expedite" matters. Companies could budget for it. Governent employees could set up bribe collection pools. Banks wwould have ATMs next to all government offices, dispensing cash briskly (and charge a premium for each withdrawal). Am I clever, or what?

And another thing - Why do countries like India always get a bad rap for corruption? I mean, I have to pay the telecom company here in the UK extra if I want faster broadband, although they advertise it like everybody's entitled to it. Or pay more to the parcel guys for "express delivery". Or pay more for a train ticket at the last minute, when I'm desperate to get somewhere. That's corruption too - taking advantage of someone's urgent need to pry some money out of them. The thing is, it's all institutionalised here in the west, with people working in an institutionally corrupt system. Whereas in countries like India, it's a cottage industry - every man for himself. And Indians are nothing if not entrepreneurs!